7 Tips to Expertly Ride the waves of Life’s Busyness

“The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you’ve lost it” – Anonymous

Are you one of millions that constantly feel overwhelmed juggling the busyness of your life? Many people today are running on auto-pilot from one responsibility to the next trying to keep up with the status quo. Busyness can be self imposed, like the need to over-achieve or used as an avoidant tactic, much like an addictive drug. Busyness can also be a result of low self esteem, people pleasing and having a lack of personal boundaries. For most of us, though, busyness is a result of the pressures of the modern world, social conditioning, 40 hour work weeks, the unrealistic cost of living, family commitments and personal expectations. We seem to be more busy than ever, despite all the “conveniences” of western society. As a result, stress disorders, anxiety and burn out are on the rise.

Let’s break it down a little further.

We have 24 hours in a day and sleeping is an essential wellness priority. A healthy bedtime and morning routine along with adequate hours of sleep is likely to take up about 10 hours of your day leaving 14 active hours. Many people are committed to an average 8 hours of work per day, 5 days a week. On top of this, there is often a commute to and from work as well. This now leaves the average person with about 4 or 5 hours to fulfil further human activities. Shopping, healthy food prep, consumption and clean up, domestic chores, personal hygiene, recommended exercise and mindful practices, personal hobbies, community service, pets, children, partners, friends, household administration, and catching up on social media and Netflix binging all fill our time. And that doesn’t even cover damage control and other peoples drama that can filter into our bubbles!

Phew! Somedays it really feels like we need more hours in the day! Unless you are an Energizer Bunny, it all seems a little unrealistic! Are you headed towards burn out? Here are some tips to help keep you focused and grounded through those busy times in life!

1: Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize!!!

If you are juggling many balls at once, identify what ones are of the utmost importance. These are the ones you can never let drop like work, family, sleep and a proper diet. Make a list of all the things you do and arrange them in order of importance and priority. Evaluate which activities you may be able to put aside until time allows again. Some things you may just have to give up for the time being.

Create reasonable expectations and boundaries for yourself in what you can commit to and say no to things that you can’t or don’t want to do. It is better to focus on what is necessary and stay wholly present rather than over-extending yourself, giving away your half hearted bits.

2: have a system and plan ahead

Having systems of organization in place can dramatically minimize stress when life feels out of control. Remember to stay mindful, put things back in the same place every-time, deal with clutter before it becomes a mess, stick to your healthy habits as best as possible and make sure your current self plans ahead for your future self to stay on track. Avoid procrastination, take the couple of minutes it takes to just do what needs to be done to stay on top of things and your future self will thank you!

Utilize your weekends by planning for the upcoming week. Shop, meal plan and food prep, freeze quick to go healthy snacks. Cook once and eat 2 or 3 times and create enough left overs for lunches. Get on top of domestic chores like laundry, cleaning, organizing and household administration. Stay on top of activities you weren’t able to complete during the week and don’t let them get out of hand. The more things pile up, the harder they are to tackle.

3: Ask for help

Many people struggle with asking for help. Could be pride or not wanting to impose upon another, or simply the fear of that person saying no. One of my go to Karyn quotes is “if you don’t ask, no will always be the answer”. So ask! And if the answer is no, find another solution!

We can’t do everything ourselves all the time and it is okay to unburden some weight. For example you could car pool for kids, hire a housekeeper or yard maintenance person, get your kids involved in helping around the house and with dinner, let your partner know you may need them to pick up a couple extra duties or that you need a evening to yourself, ask a friend to pick up what you need if they are running errands in the same place, hire a babysitter and get out for a night or even look at job share possibilities at the work place if you are over stretched. Lean on others in your family and community to ease the stress. Humans are inter-dependent and we all need each other to thrive!

4: Reframe the narrative

I listened to a podcast several years ago of which I can’t remember either the podcast or the author, but I do remember the message! Reframe the narrative.

We often say, “I have to go to work, I have to clean the house, I have to pick up my kids from soccer, I have to go grocery shopping, I have to, I have to… I have to…”. What if we said I get to? “I get to go to work, I get to pick up my kids, I get to go grocery shopping!”.

What if we couldn’t do these things due to illness, disability or disadvantage? Some people don’t have a job to go to, or can’t afford to have their kids in extra curricular activities or are limited by disability to “get” to do things that other people “have” to do. Even the mundane parts of life can be considered a gift when the possibility of not being able to do them is taken away! Maybe right now at this point in your life, you get to be busy and maybe that is a blessing, it is up to you to decide the perspective!

5: Let go of perfectionism and harmful expectations

Remember you don’t have to be a super hero and no one is perfect. It can be useful to lean into some discomfort and explore the edge but it is critical to know your edge. Crossing the threshold can cause harm. It is okay to push yourself in order to accomplish what you pursue but don’t cause harm with unrealistic expectations and learn to make friends with your limitations.

6: Fill your “joy bank”

When things get busy it can feel like we are just holding on for dear life. Proper sleep, exercise and a good diet tend to disappear. The last thing on our mind is to try and find the joy in it all but finding the time to fill your “joy bank” is also important in the midst of chaos.

Not everything and everyday is going to be happy, happy days but remembering to find the laughter and lightness whenever possible can ease stress and improve the quality of our life, carrying us through the harder times.

Walks in nature, friends, creative expressions, dancing, music, reading a book, doing yoga, cooking for fun, playing with pets, spending time with your kids doing fun activities, playing games or extending a kind gesture are just some of many things that can shift our mindset of stress. Remember to laugh and smile as often as you can regardless of time constraints!

What brings you joy?

Last week I felt overwhelmed with all the stresses unfolding in my reality so I called up my sister and asked if we could pick up my 3 year old niece for the day. This filled my “joy bank” right up and reminded me what is truly special to me. Smiles, laughter and the innocence of a toddler, what a gift!

7: Stay on track with healthy habits

Consider prioritizing the important aspects of health and wellness such as proper nutrition and sleep as this will improve your mental, emotional and physical resources throughout the day. If you are well resourced, you are more likely to weather the storms.

Stay well hydrated, avoid excessive caffeine and alcohol, limit processed foods, refined sugar and carbohydrates and choose a whole food diet full of colour!

Find the right type of body movement for you and integrate it into your day. Maybe you despise going to the gym, that’s cool, you don’t have to force yourself. Instead consider your morning or evening walk with your dog your movement. Got a road bike? Consider riding to work and home instead of taking your car! Walk to the store or to run your errands or to meet a friend for coffee, or heck, go for a walk with your friend instead of coffee! Find ways to incorporate movement into your days!

Keep your screens in check. Track how much time you spend in a day or over a week on your devices. Could this be time better spent on higher and more positive priorities? Of course keeping up with social media doesn’t have to be all bad but consider what a vortex it can be and what it ultimately provides for you. What do you want to feed your brain? There is so much division, drama and negativity that we are exposed to this which is contributing to increased anxiety and stress.

Final words

Life can get busy and stressful and we can’t always be in control of external variables but we can learn to ride the waves! Ask yourself what it is you value most and focus your attention here. Make adjustments where needed and remember that life is dynamic and always changing. There is no right or wrong, only experiences so just go with the flow!